Now that I’ve graduated from college, my life has become instantly more ordered and sophisticated.
So I feel eminently qualified to present:
How to live like a college student even when you’re not in 8 easy steps:
Step 1. Come home from work carrying a bottle of “Irish Cream” that you picked up on the way to the Metro. You know, because it was way cheaper than the Bailey’s.
Step 2. Lie in bed and read a British crime novel for several hours in your underwear. You know, since air conditioning is expensive and none of the windows seal completely.
Step 3. Put some clothes on to go downstairs and grab the last of the leftover pasta. You know, since you’re hungry but not enough to bother to cook something (and have six male roommates so walking around in your underwear isn’t really an option).
Step 4. Eat the aforementioned pasta in bed while continuing to read the aforementioned crime novel.
Step 5. Pull out the laptop mysteriously entrusted to you by your place of work and obsess over organizational tips on Pinterest. You know, about how not to have a kitchen with have a perpetual pile of dirty dishes in the sink and a floor so dirty that it’s frightening to cook barefoot.
Step 6. Eat an egg sandwich with jam and goat cheese on a kitchen stool because a roommate has spread Biology textbooks and papers all over the table. You know, because you’re not a college student anymore.
Step 7. (Re-)open that miniature box of wine from that time you went to see Shakespeare in the park a few weeks ago and drink it from a travel mug while continuing to look at Pinterest. You know, since you don’t have wine glasses (other than that one Chi Omega champagne flute left by some past resident of the house).
Step 8. Retreat back to bed (wine mug in hand) and decide that all of this will be acceptable once blogged about. You know, since then your haphazard living situation becomes entertainment for the masses and can therefore no longer be slightly sad.
So, done. Check. Remember, I’m just doing this for you, and totally not because the only grown-up part about my life since graduation has been a sudden inability to stay awake past 11pm (…on a weekend).